Everything seems to be infected these days. I read that the computer keyboard has more bacteria than your toilet seat. Then I lost all desire to touch the laptop. My phone must be full of so much bacteria in the physical sense. This is apart from my conversations it gets to hear. Am just glad it does not speak as yet.
My child tells everyone who visits us , all the things which I would not want them to know. Eg. aaj Bournvita khatam ho gaya toh mamma ne kaha dhoodh mat piyo abhi. Shaam ko peena. The Bournvita is over so mom asked me to have the milk in the evening.This is informed to the guests at seven pm which means I have still not got the bournvita and my child has not yet had milk. My super mom image will crash, is my worry.
I have a cousin from my home town who visited our house for the first time. We discuss how it is his first visit and on his earlier trips to Mumbai he could not come home. After all this, I forget to take him around the house. In Gujjus, it is considered a grave dishonor to the guest. Koi pehli baar aaye toh aapka ghar toh dikhaana jaroori hai. So there my image of a good housekeeper host went for a toss. To top it all, I prepared dosas for the guest but did not make fresh sambhar or chutney. My mom will never forgive me for this.
Now this takes great proportions in my life. I finally relate to making mountains out of mole hills. Requires a great deal of imagination, family politics, my social imagery, my real self, people s perception of me and what I think they think of me and also what impression I d like to give of my own self. When I scream at the children, my only worry is what the neighbours will think of my ranting. What my children will think, is not what matters, coz I am doing what is best for them. The children will realize it only later that all the things mom screamt for was for their own good.
Today the backspace key in the laptop is not working. I find it difficult to write and erase my mistakes. Going to delete key is not so easy.
Guess the same goes for life.