Shattered Dreams

As I barged into the kitchen after my bath, I saw tears in the maid’s eyes. I thought its due to chilly powder coz she is not crying while chopping onions. I asked her and she burst out crying in my arms. Her boyfriend had just called and said his mom said no to their marriage. She kept sobbing and I was just there. He said if he goes against his Mom s wishes he will never be happy in his family life. The girl s aunt had married the boy s chacha against the family s wishes years back. So the Mom will not agree because of the family rivalry.
I then heard her on the phone with him while making rotis. She is a pro at making rotis while talking on her cell phone. Todays call was different. She was telling him I cant live without you. You ll move on but no one will want to marry me coz all know about our relationship. She was begging him to reconsider his decision. He told her if you want you can come and talk to my mom. She said I am willing to wait for not two but five years for you to marry me.
I kept making more than my usual trips to the kitchen to listen in on the conversation. I felt so sad and totally helpless. She is just 20 and this was her first heartbreak. Look at me I am so cynical, calling it her first heartbreak as if there were more to come. She did her complete work came back for her evening chores. She had sobbed the whole afternoon alone at home as her parents are at work. Apparently he is her brother s friend and the cousins thought both were a good match.
She had planned already that she ll marry in the village come and look for new jobs closer to her new house in Mumbai. This smart girl with loads of attitude was reduced to rubble by that one phone call. She can talk English has travelled very exposed to the worldly ways and …
Strange are the ways of the world.
Why do boys’ mothers play villains always in the love story? What is it that gives them a high for giving birth to a son? Why do they want to rule his life even when he is capable of choosing his own wife? Why do they never ever get along with their daughter in laws? Of course the guy did not have the courage to stand up to his mother for the woman he loved. I think this is the trend in all boys/men, they have this innate urge to please their mothers and never ever find their mothers wrong. It also has something to do with the way the mothers raise their sons. I do not see women like this. Girls are totally self expressed with their parents but guys are only respectful and “yes boys”. Specially if the mother has only sons no daughters, the arrogance shows.I don t know if this is in our Indian society or all over. Women are their worst enemies. It is the women, mothers, mother in laws who want sons and hence so much of female infanticide in India.
I told her look the guy is good that he is speaking the truth . He did not keep you hanging for years in the hope of marriage. He said so pretty early in his courtship and did not make any false promises. That made her sob more. I then suggested prayers and the new age Mantra All Is well. She looked as if I had lost my marbles. What does Bhabhi know about heart breaks ?


Every time I have to write there is fear just like before your child s first school interview. I dont know what am I scared of or am I fearful of creating something new. The people who read the blog are my friends and are very kind to me and my writing. So who am I so fearful of. I like writing and that for sure is not hardwork for me. I am lazy and that i think makes me fearful. But I am not lazy in cooking and stuff like that. It is more about things I dont like doing. So what stops me from writing regularly ? I am still pondering over this.
The Yoga class has long stopped after paying for the full year and getting a month s membership free. The guilt keeps coming back that why i do not want to go for class. The connection goes to all the thingsthat i have left incomplete. Why did I stop driving and never took it on again. Now fear stops me completely. I have realised my fears but not managed to overcome them. They say self realisation is half the battle won. I do not experience anything like that in my case.
Saw a new shoot coming out in the old peepul tree.
Hear the koyal every morning since the onset of summers. I think they have reduced since last year.
I have overcome my fears of the blackberry and am actually enjoying it.
May be all is not lost.